By the way, I often recalled the fact that Natasha spoke about the 25-year-old virgin who came to her once. I was 19 then. But there I was, 25 years old, and I was essentially exactly the same virgin. Being already more or less spiritual person, I saw in that figure a specific meaning, a specific lesson for me. This was not “just a coincidence”.
I did not like my age as I felt pretty old. If before people called me “a young man”, now they could call me simply “a man”. I tried not to think about my age and I tried to occupy my mind with something else.
I wanted to find the phone number that I used to call prostitutes six years ago, but I remembered that it was not only deleted by me upon arrival home on the day of my last visit to Natasha, but the phone itself was broken. I remembered that I still had an old SIM card, and on the Internet I found out that you can get a statement of all the numbers that I called. I went through a lot of phone stores until they told me that the card was not only blocked, but the entire call history was already erased. Oh, how I remember that perplexed look down of that pretty sales assistant! The situation was really perplexed.
I also tried to find Natasha on VK, but to no avail. I even found the phones of some dens near the Avtozavodskaya area, hoping to find at least something. I remember that I even got slightly misty-eyed, speaking on the phone – so bad I felt. One woman was imbued with my situation and actively tried to help, but nothing.
I also thought about going to the police station, but I did not dare to actually do it.
During my reflections on the whole situation, I started seeing some details that I had not seen before. Firstly, I realized that “have been working for six months” said in June meant that Natasha remained on the street in the middle of the Russian winter. I knew well what this means when one winter a homeless woman entered a subway car with terrible festering sores all over her body. Then the people who were next to her rushed in panic to the other end of the car… Secondly, thanks to my life experience I began to see that Natasha could have had problems with her parents – just as at nineteen I left my drunken father to go back to my mother in a noisy apartment. Yes, she did make her choice, but what was the alternative? Who knows…
In the end, I calmed down and was able to look at the facts without strong emotions. The murder happened two months after my last visit to Natasha. Since prostitution was not legal in Russia, the chances are that she simply ran away with everyone else. This would explain the fact that the woman did not know what was happening in her apartment. The policeman said that he well remembers the details of that case, but, unfortunately, I could not ask him if they had any information about Natasha or not. Then it was still summer, and Natasha had time before the winter to find work – normal work. And if she could not do this, then perhaps she could go to her father and live with him until she found something. Life gave her a second chance to make the right choice. And as for me, I came to terms with the fact that time had gone… Who knows, maybe she got married, has children, and lives a happy life, while I am beating myself up because of her?
During the events described above, I received two telepathic messages from Thao.
The first one came to me during my lamentation about Natasha. I thought that had I helped her, I could have lived a happy life. And even if she would refuse to go with me, my declaration of love and my desire to help her would still help me start looking for a girlfriend in Moscow, which would in turn help me to get rid of masturbation and, consequently, health problems. While I was thinking about all this, beating myself up in the middle of the day, I received a telepathic message from Thao. She spoke in a clear voice in English, saying that in that case I would not have met her, Biastra and others. It is so.
Many telepathic messages and dreams from my friends from Thiaoouba contained information that was mainly useful to me alone. These messages were addressed to me personally to help me get out of the terrible mental and psychological state I was in.
It is possible that my sincere desire to learn from my own experience about Auras, telekinesis and other spiritual things also helped to “open” for some time the “door” of Universal Law so that Thiaooubians could help me when I needed help the most.
Another telepathic message came to me from Thao after I woke up. She said: “There are other joys in life”. It was referring to sex, the absence of which I was so worried about at that time. I realized that this message was from Thao, since she used the words “other joys” when she told Michel that Arki’s death was really sad, but they should not be selfish, as other adventures and other joys probably awaited him in subsequent lives.
Both telepathic messages were in the form of a voice in the head, and they sounded very clear and “loud”, completely different from how we “talk” to ourselves in our head (for example, when reading a book to ourselves, or when “voicing” what we daydream about).
This experience with telepathy showed that there are at least two types of telepathic communication: a stream of thoughts and a voice in the head. An example of a possible third type of telepathy would be how Latoli, not knowing French, telepathically “dipped” into Michel Desmarquet’s mind when he was delivering his speech, and in doing so she could understand the meaning of Michel"s thoughts.
This was the last telepathic message I received.
It is interesting to note that the word “joy” was used to describe sex, and yet some religious texts mistakenly forbid people to have this natural joy [with a person of the opposite sex with whom there is love and spiritual affinity].
I was often confused by Thao using the word “probably” when she spoke to Michel about the possible fate of Arki. Could Arki never have happiness? Over the years and with new life experiences, I realized that it all had to do with the good old saying “never say never”. We do not know the future and therefore it would be a mistake to say that something will happen – even if it is about justice and happiness. My father also often used to say “не загадывать” (not to make plans).
I do not know if I should write it here or not… but after reading the book for the first time, for some reason I thought that I could have been Arki in my past life. Michel Desmarquet was taken by Thiaooubians on June 26, 1987, while I was born on July 30, 1988 – exactly 400 days later. But now, as I am writing this book, I have thrown all those thoughts away. There are many reasons for this, which you may understand later in this book.
I often thought that Natasha could be found using my new knowledge and abilities.
Then I often mentally and aloud addressed my Higher Self, Thao, Biastra and Latoli, asking them to help me at least somehow.
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