Simple Truths of Life

After some time, I wanted to see if the mouth of an extinct giant beaver really could fit a human head in it. The answer was positive.

A few months earlier, I had another dream message. I was asked in it why I wanted to go to the USA. The purpose of that dream was to open my eyes to the obvious things that I will accept only after many years. But perhaps that dream had an additional meaning? I thought then what if I had already lived in North America in past lives and therefore wanted to get there because of that, pining for old places? For example, I remembered that when we were children, my friend namesake went to live in the United States with his parents. I remember how an unusual feeling of a craving for America took hold of me for a moment after I heard that news.

Sometimes I wondered how the apartment, from which I sometimes very badly wanted to go to America, became like a fortress for me where I was comfortable psychologically. What would happen to me if I really went to America earlier in life and lost my health there that I could not go out anywhere?

In Moscow, I walked with my mother. She walked slowly with a walker. I took the camera with me to capture the new spring. I remember how I took pictures of sparrows, and the janitors somehow joyfully looked at me. Maybe too joyfully? In general, I tried to enjoy life and be positive. The positivity was dissolved when my mother and I walked slowly along the street, and I walked some distance forward from her. Then a woman with a dog approached my mother and began to ask her something, pointing at me. Soon she left, still looking strangely in my direction. Mom told me that she asked her if I was bothering her with something or somehow posed a threat. I was offended. I did not understand how that woman could come to this idea? After all, we just calmly and quietly walked along the street! Could my appearance somehow contribute to that situation? Then I was with long hair which I did not cut for many years since baldness did not allow me to have normal hairstyles. The hair itself, and my whole appearance, seemed completely normal in the mirror’s reflection. At heart, I realized that perhaps my constant presence in the inner world could somehow show itself even when I did not speak.

Speaking of being lost in my imagination and memories, which manifested themselves in the form of conversations with oneself in my mind, the matter got very serious. I remember watching a walkthrough of the “Halo” game, and Cortana (artificial intelligence) said that she would think herself to death. I remembered that phrase very well because I felt that this was exactly what was happening to me during that period of my life. I just could not stop thinking. I was thinking about something all the time! It does not matter what about. The important thing is that my brain did not have a second of rest, and my strength was leaving me. I understood that I would die if I continued to go down this path. As you can see, I managed to change the course of my life.

Did I tell my parents about my experience with Thiaoouba and about my knowledge? I did try. A few years earlier, I tried with occasional stammering to tell my father about Thiaoouba when we were driving to our village. I do not know what he thought about all this. He was a kind person and tried to be understanding towards others. I told my mother about the book too, and she read it. But it was clear that she did not particularly believe that information.

Unfortunately, when I showed her my ability to move light things with the power of thought, she still did not take the book seriously.

I have not mentioned in this book yet that I learned telekinesis at about the same time as I learned to see Auras and astral projection. There was a funny moment at school when my classmate jokingly tried to move a bottle cap with his power of thought. And he really tried to use power, or force, as his whole face was in tension. Naturally, the bottle cap stood still. When I came home from school, while laughing at myself, I tried to move some object without touching it. To no avail. But now that I knew that people could really learn to move objects with the “power” of thought, I was no longer in the mood for jokes. Thao demonstrated to Michel telekinesis and levitation. In both cases she had to concentrate.

Recently, I studied physics and read about leverage which with a small expenditure of force can move heavy objects. This idea remained in my head, and I decided to suspend a meter-long thread and began to try activating different parts of my brain to move the tip of that thread with just “thought” alone. I could not understand if the tip of the thread was moving because of me or because of my breathing, or maybe because of draft. The next day I went to the bathroom where I hooked the thread to the tube for the curtain. I sat on the washing machine and with a handkerchief on my nose began to meditate on breathing in order to relax my body and mind. My eyes were open and looked at the tip of the thread. Trying to “turn on” different parts of my brain, I imagined that the thread was moving, and then I just tried to think about its movement, as if it was part of me. And finally, the tip of the suspended thread twitched! This was a sharp movement that clearly could not have been caused by either breathing or draft. Having regained concentration after surging excitement, I tried to shift the thread again. In the following days, I also tried to learn telekinesis, and each time with my success I could not believe that I was able to move light things with just my mind alone! Perhaps I was not even so enthusiastic and excited at the sight of Auras… although no, I was.

Sometimes I extended my right hand to the tip of the thread, so that my index finger was a centimeter from its end. I alternated pulling and pushing the thread to and from my finger. It was not easy, but the thread slowly and confidently was moving towards my finger. And when I “wanted” to push it away, the tip of the thread also moved away from my hand. In other sessions, I tried moving the tip of the thread by “drawing” the number 8 with it. I “imagined” its movement in my mind, and it really began to draw the number 8 in the air. Why did I just not rotate it in a circle? I think that I just liked to do things the hard way.

I practiced telekinesis every day, and soon I could move the end of the thread by a few centimeters. I decided to try to complicate my task and attached a small screw to the end of the thread. Having brought the finger of my hand closer to it, I could easily attract and repel this new light object. Moreover, I found that I could turn my finger so that the screw looked directly into the ground, and it was as if glued to my finger for as long as I “wished” that. I could also easily push the screw away from my hand, and then immediately pull it back. It was at that time that I decided to call my mother to show her my abilities. She saw this contactless movement of the screw, but without saying anything special, she went off to attend to her material concerns…

Sometimes during my practices I felt as if energy was coming out from my fingertips, which is also reported by people who, according to them, can move objects without touching them physically.

But there were bad times in those early years after finding the most important book in my life (and perhaps in the world). One of them happened when I was walking along Prospekt Budennogo near a local school, and in front of me were two pretty young girls. I will never forget those feelings of resentment and depression when they looked at me and laughed, trying to cover their mouths with their hands. There is no question that they laughed because of my appearance. It was not easy for me then. Additionally, I did not understand what was the reason for their laughter? Long hair that I had not cut for many years? Lip asymmetry? Or something else? Could me being lost in myself be reflected on my face, distorting it – I thought again?

Perhaps it was that moment that made me shave my head for the second time. This time I did it myself with scissors and a regular razor. I noticed longingly that the density of the hair was clearly less in the center of the head than on the sides. That certainly wasn"t the case when I shaved my head for the first time…

I thought at that time that someone could love me for who I am, but then I realized that I myself could not accept myself with such an appearance. My plan was to stay bald forever, but I changed my mind, deciding to postpone the inevitable into the future. It was also painful to realize that it was unlikely that the girls I liked would want to be with me.

But there was something else dark in my life. When I read Thiaoouba Prophecy, I remember exactly how uncomfortable I felt when Thao started talking about a man who is a failure – someone repressed, frustrated, inhibited; someone ignored, who yearns for recognition. I felt uncomfortable then because I saw myself in many of the first words listed.

Thao then talked about sensationalist journalists who thoughtlessly broadcast a lot of violence, and sometimes even look for it in order to rise in the ranking. She mentioned the importance of applying psychology on television so that people with the aforementioned problems in life do not dare to take up arms and kill people in order to get to the front pages of newspapers, even posthumously. It is enough for news agencies to say just in one sentence about the occurred incident, without giving the name of the killer and other details, so as not to push another similar person to such savagery in search for his moment of “glory”.

Unfortunately, the journalists obviously did not listen to Thiaooubians, and new cases of mass shooting were taking place in the USA. Another time, I came across a story about a guy with “awkward social skills” who decided to kill a girl he liked and who was about to marry another guy. I felt sorry for the injured and the dead, although I knew that they would be reincarnated in a new body again, but I could not help but feel sympathy for the killers themselves, because every time I listened to TV reporters, I felt like they were talking about me – our life situations were so similar… I roughly understood what those people were going through in their lives…

Since my desire to move to the United States was over, or almost over, I was thinking about starting to look for a girlfriend. The pigeon partly helped me with this, as he found a new feathered female companion. If for Cesar Millan the dogs were teachers, then for me at that moment the pigeon was my teacher, whose damaged leg did not prevent him from living a full-fledged pigeon life in a big city.

I became very attached to my feathered friend. So much so that when he did not visit me for several days, I thought he was dead, and I got upset to tears. That night, I had a dream with Thao and the others. They said something about the pigeon, but I remember almost nothing. Then the pigeon flew back to my window, as if nothing had happened.